


Baby on Board

by unwillingadventurer



Category: Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Baby Fic, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:08:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24822115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unwillingadventurer/pseuds/unwillingadventurer
Summary: A baby appears from nowhere on the TARDIS. How does each Doctor respond?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Baby on Board

1\. 

Susan ran into the living quarters of the TARDIS, out of breath and suddenly pushing buttons on the food machine.

“What’s the matter, Susan?” Barbara asked.

“Need some milk for the baby.”

“And you’ve left the Doctor alone with him?” Ian said, imagining all sorts of accidents that could occur on the old man’s watch.

“Oh, he’s wonderful with babies.” Susan took the packet of milk from the machine and squeezed it into a plastic bottle.

Ian and Barbara smiled and followed Susan back to the console room where true enough there the Doctor stood, cooing over the baby who was sitting on the console, legs wriggling with excitement as the Doctor tickled under the baby’s chin.

“You’re right, Susan, that baby loves him,” Ian said with a grin. “I guess it’s just adult humans that annoy him.”

Barbara folded her arms. “If only he was as good at navigating this ship as he is with babysitting. And he still hasn’t explained how that poor baby came to be away from his mother and materialised here.”

“All in good time, my dear,” the Doctor said, turning his head and flashing her a smile. “Little Frederick is enjoying the story I’ve been telling him.”

“Frederick?” Ian said.

“Every living thing deserves a name, Chesterton.”

“And yet you’ve never told us yours,” Ian muttered.

“Don’t be obtuse. This situation is entirely different. Now, we need to get you home, don’t we?” The Doctor picked up the baby and bounced it gently. “Getting you home is now top priority.”

Ian and Barbara exchanged glances. 

“Wish the same could be said for our need to get home,” Ian whispered. 

Barbara walked toward the Doctor and was about to pick up the baby from the Doctor’s arms when suddenly it vanished into thin air. “Doctor! What happened? Where’s he gone?”

Scratching his chin, the Doctor frowned. “Hmm, most perplexing, I agree.”

…

2.

“Doctor!” Zoe cried from the console room as a baby boy appeared beside her and Jamie who were waiting for the Doctor to get ready. “Doctor, there’s a baby here on the floor!”

“Oh my word!” the Doctor shouted before arriving in the room, tubing around his neck and a recorder in pocket. When he saw the infant, he dropped all his materials. “Oh my giddy aunt. I wonder how that little thing got here?”

“He just sort of appeared, like a wee magician’s conjuring trick,” Jamie said.

“Maybe it’s something to do with us passing through that electrical-storm,” Zoe reasoned.

The Doctor picked up the baby and smiled. “Bless him. I think I shall call him Jamie.”

Folding his arms, Jamie stamped his foot. “You better mean because he’s a wee cute chappie and not because he has no control of his faculties.”

“Of course I was referring to the former, Jamie. He reminds me of you, that’s all. Now, what does one do with a little baby?” He held the baby in the air where its legs dangled. It started to cry. “Oh dear. Don’t worry, little Jamie, we’ll get you home soon. How do you turn him off, Zoe?”

Zoe couldn’t help but giggle. “I don’t think they have off-switches, Doctor.”

“Aye alright, give him here,” Jamie said, taking the baby in his arms and gently rocking him. “Honestly if you want something done right, do it ye self.”

The Doctor was stunned into silence at the sight of big Jamie rocking little Jamie to sleep. He was even more stunned when several moments later the baby disappeared from his arms altogether as though he had never been there at all.

…

3.

“Doctor, why is there a baby on your desk?” the Brigadier said, looking down as he leaned down to tap the baby gently on the head with his stick. The baby was sitting and smiling, hitting his feet with his tiny hands.

Meanwhile, the Doctor was busy with an experiment but lifted his head momentarily. “Little chap appeared from nowhere, I’m afraid. Caught me at quite a busy moment. Jo’s gone to find a babysitter.”

“Doctor, this is no place for a child.”

“You’re quite right, Brigadier, far too dangerous, which is why…” he pulled out a pair of tiny goggles and placed them over the baby’s eyes. “That’s better.”

The Brigadier’s eyebrow rose. “You cannot be serious.”

“He’s fine just watching me. Copernicus has a great mind. I can tell that already. Would you kindly step out of my light, my dear fellow?”

The Brigadier stood back a pace. “Copernicus?”

“I needed to call him something.” He looked at the baby. “Waiting for Auntie Jo, aren’t we ‘Pernicus?”

As he looked back at his work, the Brigadier’s eyes widened as the baby slowly vanished from the desk. “Doctor!” He rubbed his eyes, wondering if the lack of sleep was finally catching up with him.

“Honestly Brigadier, how a chap can work with these constant interruptions.”

The Brigadier coughed, motioning to the desk which was now empty.

“What have you done with ‘Pernicus?”

“Give me strength!”

…

4.

Glancing over the baby with a magnifying glass, the Doctor grinned widely, showcasing an impressive set of teeth. “Seems to be a human lifeform.”

“I can look over him. I am a doctor,” Harry said, leaning forward.

The Doctor hit his hand away. “So am I.”

“How did it get here?” Sarah asked.

“No idea. But there seems to be some sort of primordial ooze weeping from its nose.”

Sarah laughed. “Doctor, he’s just got a runny nose.”

“Can’t be too careful, Sarah. We don’t know what this thing is, what it’s here for, what it is capable of.”

“It’s not capable of much, Doctor,” Harry said, “he’s still very young.”

The baby giggled as the Doctor’s face loomed close to him, his Time Lord features appearing huge to the infant.

“You’ll scare him, Doctor,” Sarah said but to her surprise the baby happily grabbed the Doctor’s nose and began to pull it. “Enough to grab onto I suppose.” She laughed.

“Doctor, we need to get the chap back to his parents, they’ll be worried sick,” Harry added.

The Doctor’s face moved from the vicinity of the baby to right in front of Harry so they were nose to nose. “Parents?”

“A mother and a father, Doctor,” Sarah said with a chuckle, finding the whole situation amusing.

“Ah, yes, of course, parents. I suppose it must have those as it’s human. Well, come along Sarah, take this child whilst I trace our previous movements.”

Sarah suddenly stopped laughing. “Oh no! Just because I’m the woman, doesn’t mean I know how to look after him.”

“Come on old girl, its quite simple,” Harry said.

She picked up the baby and plonked him in Harry’s arms. “If it’s so simple, looks like it’s your job.” She stuck out her tongue. 

Suddenly the baby was gone. “I say, old girl, you’ve gone and wished him away!”

…

5.

“It’s never a simple life with you, Doctor, is it?” Tegan said as she placed the baby onto Nyssa’s bedspread. “Monsters, villains, spaceships, and random appearing babies.”

The four travellers gawped at the baby who was wriggling about on the covers wearing blue coloured baby-grows. 

“It’s not my fault. I don’t know where WG came from.”

“WG?” Nyssa asked.

“Like WG Grace. I didn’t like to call him ‘it’.”

“Well…WG needs changing,” Tegan said, sniffing the air.

Adric looked over the infant. “He seems perfectly healthy, why should he need to change?”

“I didn’t mean change his form, Adric, I mean he needs a change of nappy,” Tegan said.

“Nappy?” Adric said, still none-the-wiser.

“I think Tegan means a covering on the child that collects the waste materials for immediate disposal,” Nyssa said.

The Doctor grimaced and picked up the baby, holding it toward Tegan. “Ah. Wouldn’t mind doing that, would you, Tegan?”

“I’ll pretend you didn’t ask that.”

“Nyssa?”

“I have readings to check, Doctor.”

“Adric?” the Doctor grinned and held the baby toward the boy. Adric stood staring at him with his mouth gaped open. “On second thoughts.”

…

6.

Peri entered the console room to find the Doctor singing to the little baby in the makeshift cot. The Doctor’s high notes made her hold her hands to her ears in protest.

“Doctor! Why are you singing that awful song?”

The Doctor stopped and huffed, spinning around to face her. “Awful song? Awful song? That, Peri, is not a song, it is a Gallifreyan lullaby, all 750 verses.”

“You’ll scare the poor thing. He’s already lost his parents somehow.”

“Nonsense, Thaddeus Mozart Galileo is quite well.”

“You can’t call him that! One, he probably has a name, and two, it’s a ridiculous one.”

Raising his eyebrow, the Doctor looked her up and down. “No one named Perpugilliam is allowed to comment on the absurdity of a name.”

She folded her arms. “Have you checked his diaper?”

“His what?” The Doctor frowned. “Ah yes, diaper. His napkin is quite clean at present, thank goodness. The real task now is how to return him to where he came from.”

Peri stroked the baby’s head. “He’s a real sweetheart. I hope my own kids will be just as cute.”

“Hmm.” 

“That is of course if I ever see home again.”

The Doctor placed his arm around her. “Don’t be so defeatist, Peri. We must succeed. And if the worst comes to the worst, you can adopt Thaddeus.”

“Doctor!” 

…

7\. 

“Professor, I don’t think he’ll fit in there,” Ace said watching as the Doctor began to empty her backpack.

“He will if I get rid of some of this stuff, what have you got in here?” He pulled out some explosives. “Ace, where on earth did you get these?”

“That’s what I’m saying. Don’t put the baby in there!”

“This way we can carry the little tyke around with us, find out where he belongs. Someone is missing a baby, Ace, we have to find out who.”

Ace, who was holding the baby, placed him down on the ground. “He won’t fit, Professor.”

“Are you sure?”

She laughed and looked at the baby. “You want to be carried around in a big old backpack?”

The baby looked up at her with big curious eyes but within a split second it was gone, vanished, no trace it had ever been there.

“Uh…Professor.”

“Extraordinary!”

…

8.

Sitting on the Eames chair, with the baby on his lap, the Doctor took a sip from his cup of tea and looked up at Lucie who was standing over him, pacing back and forth.

“Why is he here, Lucie? What brought him to us?”

“Haven’t the foggiest, Doctor. He just materialised like the TARDIS does. He’s not one of your lot, is he?”

“Hmm?” The Doctor snapped from his trance. “No, I don’t think so. I feel this may have happened to me before, that somehow my life is converging on this moment.”

“Oh, here we go again. I give you a herbal brew and you start waxing philosophical.”

“There are questions, Lucie. You can’t just ignore the appearance of a baby onto a time and space vessel.”

“I’m not ignoring it. I’m just trying to work out a plan.”

“Unless it’s already part of a wider plan, one that’s far bigger than all of us.” He looked at the baby and smiled. “Why are you here? What is your purpose?”

…

9.

Rose looked around the door of the console room and could see the Doctor cooing over the little baby that had appeared as though by magic hours earlier. He was bent over it, moving from side to side, nodding his head erratically to make the baby laugh. He then flicked his own ears.

“Like that eh? Man with big ears? Funny huh?”

Rose giggled. “What you doing, Doctor?”

The Doctor immediately stepped back, thrust his hands in his pockets and removed the grin on his face. “Just reading over some data, working out how to reunite this one with its parents.”

“He’s cute. He sort of looks like a Bobby.”

“No naming it, Rose. You give something a name, you become attached. It’s a thing alright. We can’t have you getting all broody and domestic.”

“Says the man cooing all over him. You’re so full of it.”

He smirked. “Saw all that, did you?”

“Yes, just a bit. You are such a liar.” She pointed her finger at him and spun around laughing.

“Just checking the baby’s alright, doesn’t mean I’ve gone all domestic. That’s your lot, that is, all you stupid apes who manage to get babies transported to the TARDIS.”

“Oh, all our fault is it now? Gotcha.”

He folded his arms. “Yeah, is as a matter of fact. I pity him.”

There was a moment of silence before Rose playfully shoved the Doctor. “Come on then, let’s find out where he belongs.”

…

10.

“Donna!!”

“No!”

“Donnnnnaaaah!”

“Not on your life, spaceman!”

“But he needs his nappy changed.” He sniffed the air. “Blimey, what have you eaten?”

Donna appeared behind the Doctor and laughed. “No chance. My mate Mandy had a baby last year. She asked me to change it, said no way. I mean, your own baby, that’s different isn’t it, but your old friend’s nipper?”

“Well someone needs to do it.” The Doctor undid the nappy and then ran his hand through his unruly hair.

“Did you just touch that and then your hair?”

The Doctor scrunched up his face. “Ignore it. Look, I’ve seen some awful things, how bad can this be?”

They both peered down at the baby and grimaced at the same time. The Doctor stepped back and took a deep breath.

“Yeah that’s bad, really bad.”

“That’s honking!” Donna added, covering her nose.

“I’d rather this was a Dalek.”

“You’d rather change a Daleks nappy?”

“No, that’s why they’re so clever, don’t need ‘em.”

Donna reached into her handbag and pulled out an aerosol can, spraying away from the baby around the console room. 

“Worst day ever!” the Doctor said.

….

11.

Smiling, the Doctor walked towards Amy and Rory, the baby dangling from him on a self-made baby harness.

“What do you think?”

“Is it safe?” Rory said.

“Of course it’s safe. Only the best for little Avenger.”

Amy raised an eyebrow. “Avenger?”

“It’s cool, isn’t it? Avengers are cool. Besides he approved of the name, wouldn’t accept anything else.”

Rory and Amy exchanged glances.

“Don’t look at me like that. You two should be watching and learning should you ever have one of these yourself one day.”

“Ours won’t be appearing and re-appearing across the universe though will it?” Rory said with a smirk.

“Never be too certain eh Avenger?” He looked down at the harness and realised the baby was gone and that he was talking to thin air. “Where did he go?”

“Doctor, he was there, he sort of just vanished!” Amy said, not believing her eyes. “But how?”

…

12\. 

Carrying a box of supplies, Bill walked into the console room. “Little help, Doctor, found some blankets and stuff like that.”

The Doctor ignored her and continued to stare at the baby.

“Ok, do it myself.” She placed down the heavy box and watched the Doctor as he scanned the baby with his sonic screwdriver.

“What you scanning for?”

“It could be anything. It could be a bomb.”

“It could also be just a baby.”

With a serious expression, he turned to look at her. “Never assume.” The sonic screwdriver whirred noisily and the baby reached out to grasp it. “Human.”

“Aww looks like he thinks your screwdriver is a toy.”

“Sorry small human but I need this. Where are your parents?”

Bill laughed. “Well he won’t answer you. You never looked after a baby before?”

“Of course I have but not this one. They’re all different, Bill. This one is wanting to ask me something, I can see it in his eyes. Unfortunately, I can’t speak baby.”

“Ok then. Look, Doctor, we have to do something. Like make some posters or something, distribute them about. Or ooh set up a page on Facebook for missing babies.”

“Babies can’t read, Bill.”

She held up her hands. “Nah, I meant…oh never mind. What shall we do then?”

“I have no idea, Bill.”

…

13.

“Blimey, he’s a little pickle, isn’t he?” Graham said as Yaz held the baby in her arms.

“How can a baby just appear like that?” Yaz said, looking to the Doctor who was at the console, staring at the screen on the panel.

“No idea, Yaz, work in progress. That baby cannot be here, I mean obviously it is here but it cannot be here.”

“Why not?” Ryan said. “We’ve seen some well weird things on here, why not a baby?”

“Ugh, if only I could talk to it.” The Doctor leaned over the baby and scrunched up her face, placing her fingers at her temples and closing her eyes. “Ah no use. I used to speak baby, power’s gone now.”

“You what? Speak baby, don’t pull my leg, Doc,” Graham said. “Next you’ll be telling us you speak to animals like Doctor Doolittle.”

“Now that would be telling!”

Yaz handed the baby to Graham and grabbed the Doctor’s arm. “I could take him to the station. I mean if he’s human he could just be an abandoned baby. I mean we were at home not long ago, perhaps he’s from Sheffield.”

“Yaz, this baby might be from anywhere, an entire universe at any time. Bit naïve to think everything will happen in Sheffield.”

“Kind of feels like it does,” Ryan added.

Graham smelt the baby’s head. “Nothing better than a baby smell is there? He’s a cracking little fella, isn’t he? Shame I never got to hold you like this, eh Ryan?”

Yaz laughed at Ryan as he stepped back a pace.

“Never mind smelling Ryan’s head,” the Doctor said. “We’ve got parents/guardians to find!”


End file.
